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Fallacy of Sunk Cost: Nothing from Nothing Leaves Nothing

  Fallacy of Sunk Cost--a cognitive bias where individuals continue and endeavor-such as relationships, projects, or investments--based on past, unrecoverable investments (time, money, effort) rather than future benefits. It causes irrational decision-making to avoid feelings of loss, guilt, or waste. Overcome it by focusing on future costs/benefits, ignoring past expenses, and seeking outside perspectives. Key Aspects of the Sunk Cost Fallacy: Psychological Reason: Driven by loss aversion (feeling the pain of loss more keenly than the gain), cognitive dissonance (desire for actions to align with past choices), and the emotional need to avoid acknowledging failure. Impact on Decision-Making: People "throw goo money after bad," leading to continued comittment to failing projects, staying in bad jobs, or refusing to sell underperforming stocks. Relating to Relationships: It often manifests as staying in unhealthy or unproductive relationships, where individuals continue to inve...
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Why Authentic People Are Intimidating

 I have recently been placed in an environment where all eyes have been on me for various reasons. First, only one person had ever met me before and second this person only had superficial awareness of who I am. Yet, I could read the faces and boy did they tell the story. There is clearly something about me that rubs certain people the wrong way. Mind you, I was purposefully quiet most of the time I was in the presence of my new acquaintances. I believe my silence only made it worse because they were not readily able to make a determination of who they perceived me to be.  Authentic people are intimidating because we do not create a persona to fit into what the world deems acceptable.  Persona--the public image, social facade, or mask of identity an individual presents to the world, often distinct from their true personality. The closest I come to having a  persona is during professional situations. I will code switch where my tone and annunciation becomes more preci...
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What It Feels Like To Age

 Ageism is truly an "ism" that is waste of time to participate in especially if you are afraid to die, which most people are ironically. Yet, so many have negative remarks and disrespect for those who have lived long enough to age.  I am so grateful that as young as 15, I revered the elderly. One of my best friends was Mrs. Hodges who lived directly across the street from me on 23rd Street in my hometown of East St. Louis, IL. She was in her 70's and if I saw her on the porch, I would go sit and talk to her. I even went to Six Flags with her and her daughter and actually enjoyed myself. I would sit in the corner in my mother's beauty shop in our basement and listen to the talk going around. There is a lot be learned from those older than us. Taught me a lot about women and people in general.  Now, don't get me wrong we don't achieve wisdom simply because we age, but aging gives us the opportunity to live long enough to gain wisdom from the life experiences we ...
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Why Are You Single?

 I have literally been on dating sites on and off for over ten years. I go out to dance almost every Friday or Saturday or both and I have scores of people who know I'm single and open to meeting and engaging with a man, yet I'm still single. When the men ask me why I'm single, I know it is solely based on my appearance and that's cool, you want your potential mate to be attracted to you. Yet, when I'm asked that question, there is an uncomfortable feeling I get each time I hear it. I'm single because I haven't met anyone who I have connected with on a level that has allowed us to move forward. I met a man almost three years ago on BLK. We talked for five hours. At the end of the conversation I said, 'I really enjoyed talking with you with you.' He replied, "Wait a minute; you sound like you're not going to talk to me again." He picked up on the right vibe. We had a ball during the conversation. He was extremely comfortable with sharing...
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The Difference Between Mothers, Fathers and Parents

  Mother-is a female parent, the woman who bears or raises a child, or a woman in a position of nurturing authority (source of origin). Father-is a male parent, defined as a the man who begets a child provides care, and exercises parental, legal, or social authority.  Parent-is a father or mother, either biological, adoptive, or legal guardian, who begets, raises, and cares for a child.  When I was in high school, I wrote a paper titled, "A Good Parent." My teacher, Mr. Joiner was astonished by my understanding of what a parent should be at such a young age. I didn't feel loved by my mother and father and I did not view them as parents. In my mind, the were too attached to the biology we shared and their obligations based on the fact they brought me into this world. Outside of that I was not a person. I had no identity that was not attached to what they thought they were supposed to do for me.  Many mothers and fathers tend to only see their offspring through their e...
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Why Men Don't Tell

 'I don't like putting my hands on people,' I said. "I love it; that's why I can't keep a man. What's funny is I'm the same person who cries when I hit my kids." This was an exchange between a woman and I who I just recently became associated with a few weeks ago. My jaw dropped when she made that assertion. She is the epitome of why I wrote the book, "What You Don't Say." This woman has clearly suffered some abuse. The way she said it made my skin crawl. She's making the men who she claims to love pay for what she's been unable to say enough to work through her trauma without involving others in a negative way.  I met her children and I heard the youngest whisper to her, "I thought he was out of jail? When is he coming home?" She half whispered back, "He is, but he can't come back right now." I heard their conversation before the exchange we had about putting hands on folk. When I got home, my mind cou...
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Who Owns Your Peace

 This morning I saw a post stating "All it takes is for one person to ruin your peace. I feel like some intentionally do it on purpose." Sherlene Shanklin/Facebook I responded, 'Now that I have it for real, no one can ruin my peace. If they try, they'll wish they hadn't.' If someone can wreck your peace, it's not yours. Our minds, hearts and souls are actual vaults. Unfortunately, our bodies, not so much. The reason someone can disturb one's peace is one does not fully have dominion over it. True peace cannot be disturbed. The reason this is true is due to the way it is obtained. To truly be at peace one must know who they are, what triggers them and how to regulate their emotions. It's only when one does not have control of themselves that others can knock them off their square. The tools needed to build a fortress around one's peace are discernment, self-awareness, detachment, compassion, mindfulness and empathy. Discernment--is the ability t...
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