Who Owns Your Peace

 This morning I saw a post stating "All it takes is for one person to ruin your peace. I feel like some intentionally do it on purpose." Sherlene Shanklin/Facebook

I responded, 'Now that I have it for real, no one can ruin my peace. If they try, they'll wish they hadn't.'

If someone can wreck your peace, it's not yours. Our minds, hearts and souls are actual vaults. Unfortunately, our bodies, not so much. The reason someone can disturb one's peace is one does not fully have dominion over it. True peace cannot be disturbed. The reason this is true is due to the way it is obtained. To truly be at peace one must know who they are, what triggers them and how to regulate their emotions. It's only when one does not have control of themselves that others can knock them off their square.

The tools needed to build a fortress around one's peace are discernment, self-awareness, detachment, compassion, mindfulness and empathy.

Discernment--is the ability to grasp, understand, or judge situations clearly, often separating what is important, true, or moral from what is not.

One needs to be able to recognize what is important when they can see someone is trying to bother them or disrupt their flow. If someone is making an accusation, is it true? Lastly, is what they are presenting or doing right?

Self-awareness--is the ability to focus on yourself, recognizing your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and motivations as if observing yourself from the outside.

Being self-aware can make the need for the other tools unnecessary because you recognize what you are thinking, feeling and what motivates you. You have a great understanding of how you would and should behave in most situations. One of the main reasons folk's peace can be disrupted is they don't know who they are which makes it easy for other's to rock their world.

Detachment--is the act of separating or the state of being separated, commonly referring to emotional aloofness, and objectivity.

Some folk view being detached as cold, mean, or not caring. In reality, detachment allows one to be objective when it is most important. It also helps one recognize they only have control of over themselves. What being detached does most is makes one like Teflon; nothing sticks. You accept that what other folk think and say about you is not your business and keep it moving right along with your peace in tact.

Compassion--is the sympathetic awareness of others' distress combined with a strong actionable desire to alleviate it. The difference between compassion and empathy is compassion leads one to want to help or relieve suffering. 

Most peace disrupters are in some sort of pain themselves. Compassion is a sure fire way to dispel their behaviors. Instead of becoming angry or sullen when you can clearly see they are trying to disrupt your peace, ask them, "Is there anything you need?" "How can I help?" "Is there a problem?" Stand back and watch them melt into the floor.

Mindfulness--is the psychological process of actively bringing attention to the present moment, intentionally observing thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment or reaction.

Mindfulness is an absolutely great way of keeping your peace by staying in the present moment and paying attention to what you think. You must be in control of your emotions, judgments, reactions and the sensations that proceed them.

Empathy--is the ability to understand, share, and vicariously experience the emotions, thoughts, and perspectives of another person.

Unlike compassion, empathy only requires that you try to understand what another may be going through. When folk step to you sideways, know it ain't about you and you keep stepping. Nobody gets to ruin your peace!